SMILE

                                             Escape Route.

Writing. It all starts with the sources and stories; that's where it all starts. Not stories that exist full-formed and discerned. No. These are stories that consist of half-thought ideas, half-baked moments. Intuition ? Perhaps. Sometimes, I do not know where they come from. Just a bunch of words and imaginations stored up in my head, begging to be written down.

Funny enough, writing came to me when I was in a dark phase. Do you know that feeling when you want to stop existing ? Stop being ? Take a break, do nothing. Hide in a dark corner and just disappear where no one would ever find you ? Do you know that feeling when you become such an introvert, that even the thought of someone else staying next to you repulses you ?

How do I tell two truly concerned loving parents and my friends that their love is suffocating me? That I need space and time, the space to cry, cry myself to sleep, the space to shout, break a glass, scream. I had never been away from my siblings before. Ever. And for the first time in 16 years, I was all alone. No Century to run to to give me advice on boys. No Cross to sneak out with, without my parents' consent.  And finally when they gave me the space to be with myself, alone for some time in the day, all I could feel was my happiness slowly draining out of my system, leaving nothing but thoughts and memories.

That's when the idea of writing came to mind. Since I had nothing left but thoughts and memories, it made total sense to write it down. Write every single thing I felt. I had always been a good essay writer back in secondary school. My English teacher kept saying she had no idea why i was in science class. She thought i'd be better off in art. Don't get me wrong, I love me some physics and biology. I've always dreamed of studying medicine. Nothing else. Writing was just the side bitch. LOL.

Writing has become my escape route. It helped me get out of a dark phase. It slowly, but surely brought happiness back into my life. All i'm trying to say is, find your own escape route. Something that gives you as much joy as writing gives me. 

Writing and Medicine are the best things that have happened to me so far(Apart from my family). One of these days, if I stopped existing, I'd want the world to know. I don't want to be just another statistic, just another note. I want to be remembered as the girl whose writing inspired a life, or the doctor who treated a patient of a terrible disease.

I look back now to when i was in my dark phase, and I thank God for putting me through all that, for without it, my writing would have remained a bunch of words and imaginations, begging to be written down.